The only thing I learned from an entire semester of marketing studies was that you can’t make people buy what they don’t want or need. But. You can make people feel like they have problems, and turn those problems into wants and needs.

Microsoft today introduced Streets & Trips 2007 with a GPS locater. The idea is simple: a slightly updated application based on the older Street & Trips 2006, now 1 years ahead, and now comes with a GPS receiver straight out of the box! How do you sell it? No one needs this. People have been driving fine without satellite navigation for decades, and even before that, driving even without maps for decades, so why would anyone buy this?

Whoever Microsoft paid to come up with this strategy is brilliant. Driving can cause tension. The whole press release portrays driving like the world’s most miserable activity. And why Microsoft Streets & Trips 2007 will blow all those problems away.

I kid you not, the URL for the press release is “10-11TravelTensionPR.mspx” and the adjectives used to describe driving all relate to tension. For example “…resolve the battle for the driver’s seat…”, “despite skyrocketing fuel prices…”, “add children to the mix, and a bumpy ride is sure to ensue”, “…helps to relieve common travel stress” and “…helps ease the tension between travelers”.

They forgot to mention Streets & Trips 2007 will also reduce road rage.

I would definitely try out or even buy this product considering the amount of long-distance driving trips my family takes, but like most cool (and useful) products, Australia is not considered a country significant enough to be localised for.

A few days ago, I uncovered Microsoft’s plan to release a gaming keyboard in partnership with Reclusa. Of course, wanting to know more about the keyboard and it’s specifications, I contacted the public relations people from both Microsoft Hardware and Reclusa to find out more.

Microsoft Hardware’s PR said:

At this time, we do not have any information to share regarding a gaming keyboard; however we are always evaluating what gamers want from their input devices and will keep you updated regarding future announcements.

Reclusa’s PR said:

At this time, we do not have any information to share regarding a gaming keyboard or our partnership with Microsoft; however we are always evaluating what gamers want from their input devices and will keep you updated regarding future announcements.

I got nearly the same response from two completely different people. Do PR people have a list of responses they can copy & paste to people when they don’t want to respond? Or do PR people all think alike?

At least they didn’t deny the speculation, so at least it proves the Reclusa does indeed exist. However they didn’t reveal any additional information, so I’m going to start a rumour. The rumour is, the keyboard will have a Windows start button. Don’t say it. I know. I don’t know how they pull off such an innovative feature, but they’ve done it, and they’re hiding it.

Microsoft is definitely thinking outside the box here. According to an unsourced article in the Australian IT, Microsoft has officially released the local pricing for Windows Vista in Australia. Whilst I find it strange such an article does not quote a source and neither does Microsoft Australia’s press site reveal such information, I would presume the leading news publication in Australia does not source The Inquirer.

That’s a markup of over AU$200 for the Windows Ultimate compared to what the folks in the blue, white and red country pay for. And well over AU$100 markup for the Home Basic version. Where does that $200 go?

According to APC Magazine, Microsoft Australia inflated the price of Windows XP by an average multiplier of 168% for exchange rate, taxes and profits. Windows Vista pushes up the multiplier to around 190%. What happened in the last 5 years?

Is it the exchange rate? In 2001, every Australian dollar was worth below 50 US cents. Now 5 years later, the Australian dollar has strengthened by 50%, and as of today, every Australian dollar is worth at least 74 cents. Definitely not the exchange rate.

Inflation? Well, inflation has been below 3% for the last 4 consecutive years. And even to make calculations easier, presuming the the yearly inflation has been 5%, prices would have only inflated by 25% over the last 5 years. But this would have still been offset by the 50% decrease due to a stronger Australian dollar. So what’s left?

Profit! Or mysterious surprise! Either Microsoft Australia is trying to juice the Australian public bad or they’re hiding a gold nugget in every box of Windows Vista. I’m betting on the latter. And that’s why they have yet to publically reveal the product box design for Windows Vista, because it’s going to have a special case for the nugget. Or, maybe this is the Windows Ultimate Extra surprise they’ve been talking about?

Update: I’ve just received an insider tip from a paper clip that a kilogram of bananas are also bundled with Windows Vista, setting the value of Vista well beyond its recommended retail price.

Peter Barlow is the director of CyberActive Media who is organising the upcoming eGames Expo in Melbourne from November 17-19, 2006. I missed the last opportunity to talk to him at the Atomic Live Forum, so I couldn’t miss out this second opportunity to talk to him about eGames.

Today, I had a chance to join a group of strangers to meet with Peter in a very noisy cafe in Melbourne. Of course, with my handy iriver Clix, I recorded the whole conversation for blackmailing purposes in the immediate future, and to share with the rest of you what Peter had to say.

It was an extremely interesting and insightful conversation (although it was mainly Peter talking) about planning and executing a large-scale industry-first exhibition like this.

The things he talks about include:

Click here to listen to the chat with Peter Barlow (MP3, 6.3MB, 18:24min)

Windows Vista mousemats/mousepads

After 21 gruesome days of email spam from over 630 entries, I finally received the mousemats sent from the great land of royalties and teas, thanks to James Senior from Microsoft UK.

The winners have been chosen using a monkey and many fortune cookies which has inside the names of the people who entered the giveaway. Before the drawing actually started, the monkey climbed into the air-vent and escaped. So in despair, a PHP random selection script was used to fairly draw the winners. Here they are:

If your name was on the list, be very afraid. Because I’m going to email you in the next few days to get your shipping address. If your name wasn’t on the list, don’t start whining yet.

Beginning Ajax with ASP.NET

Unlike the Vista mousemat competition, if you don’t win this, you can actually go and buy the book. But nevertheless, if you do win this, you’re going to be drawing pastel rounded corners with big input fields and refresh-less pages in no time. Thanks to one of the co-authors, Paul Glavich.

There are only 2 winners for this, so this was comparatively easier than the mousemats. I write everyone’s name on a piece of paper, and burned it. Then I looked through the ashes to see who’s names remain. Sadly to say, there wasn’t much left. So I ended up using a PHP script again. I tried to stop my reliance on technology, really, I tried.

• Stephen Taylor
• Sanu Simon Philip

To those two people, look out for an email from me and many Nigerians in the next few days. To everyone else, you may begin whining now.

Shipping for all this is probably going to cost greater than the GDP of some small island nations. Bummer. But all hope is not lost. I hope in the future I can do many more giveaways with bigger and better prizes.

Days away from launch, someone has sent in a tip about the official Windows Vista viral marketing campaign called Clearification. If you loved Demetri Martin in The Daily Show, you’ll love him here. It’s funny, its depressing, its satirical and I don’t know how it relates to Windows Vista.

To get the vibe of Clearification, have a look at this video.

It is no secret Demetri Martin signed up with Microsoft nearly 4 months ago in a multi-staged marketing campaign aimed to improve the image of Windows and Microsoft. So far, Microsoft has sponsored for Demetri’s stand-up tour “These are Jokes”, touring around the States. But Demetri Martin is best known for his “Trendspotting” reports in the Comedy Central show, “The Daily Show”.

As noted by the Seattle Pi, Microsoft and Apple are literally head-to-head when it comes to hiring comedians. On the same show, Apple has already hired John Hodgman as part of its Mac-vs-PC advertising campaigns. Could this be rivalry at its finest?

In the past, Microsoft has officially stated Demetri will the face of a massive multipronged campaign for Windows Vista, and this is it. Whilst it has obvious associations with Microsoft and Windows Vista, it is still unclear how it will tie-in with the bigger Windows Vista marketing campaign. So far, a link and a few audio plugs are all there is between Microsoft and Clearification, which are only links to Microsoft’s official website.

The focus of the website is to show a series of episodic videos about a man with psychological issues who’s been sent to an institution. It is unclear how Windows Vista might tie in to the whole story, but I’m guessing Vista is going to make him less crazy? Or something along those lines of being a normal, productive and sane man.

The tone of the website is very light hearted, with plenty of family-friend jokes and amusing quotes. The artwork is by Michael Gillette. Music by Film School Music. And it even has an RSS feed. There are also options to download each video and quote featured on the website, which will very popular with teenagers who share them like crazy.

A Whois search of the domain reveals clues about when this domain was registered or who (marketing agency) was responsible for the campaign.

Definitely check out all the wackiness that is Clearification for yourself at www.clearification.com.